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the illustration i drew when i was on Moon Quest ~ Women’s Vision Quest this past May

D A I L Y * W I L D  day 20

~ Tell Your Story ~

sometimes i wonder, especially if my viewing stats are low, why i share my writings, drawings and pictures publically. although it is not my main motivation to be famous or a superstar (although being an internationally recognized storybook illustrator is certainly something i would not walk away from). i was reminded today as i read Wolf’s recent post on the Animá blog why i not only tell THE stories but why i tell MY story. i tell my story so i don’t forget!

We tell our stories, so that we don’t forget.

We tell stories, so that those we tell will remember, but so that we remember as well.  Remember who we are, and the why’s of what we do.  What we intend, as well as what we have gone through.  Remember the natural urgings of our hearts and not just the rote recitations of the mind.  Remember what frightens and threatens, and remember to act to protect ourselves and what we love.  It is our stories that keep us from forgetting our hopes and dreams, and that help us remember to realize them, to manifest, to make real and possible.  To remember the plaintive voice of our calling, and remember that we are both worthy and able to respond.  To recount our mistakes, and thereby drive home each one’s poignant lessons.  To remember all that we have accomplished, wonderfully if imperfectly, and remember to feel satisfaction.  Remember what needs still need to be addressed, and what deeds remain to be done.

the stories, blurbs, photos, images, rantings that i write on my blogs act as my journal, my diary. sometimes i go back and re-read posts over and over so that i can be reminded of my progress or lack of. i get to gauge how i am coming along in my own personal vision of my personal story and how i want to experience this life. i get to remember loved ones that have passed on and sit awhile in their memory when my busy day-to-day has nudged them out of my conscience. i am shown without fail or illusion where i am truly focusing my daily attention and energy and what is honestly an inspiring consistent motivator in my life. i get to bear witness to my own karmic cycles and can use this to empower myself out of any hamster wheels i choose to no longer scamper in. if along the way, someone else can relate to my story or is inspired to truly remember their own story, then what a gift!

I drew the picture above this spring when i spent 4 days in the wilderness on vision quest. i sat on the sloping hill-side amongst new sprouts of native grass. the air was thick and hazy with fire smoke from the early summer wildfires. the hues were orange and a diffused red and the smoke moved through the dense old ponderosa pine tree grove like a serpent. i sat in the open with a woven wool blanket wrapped around my shoulders. a blanket at one point in time i had used as a saddle pad for my old mustang. a storm was brewing out of the southeast, building itself and readying to contend with the heat in the air. i had no predetermined idea of what i was going to draw. i simply wanted to just channel the energy around me and let the image manifest on the paper through the pen in my hand. the air began to get heavy with the smell of rain. i could hear the wind from the storm blasting through the tree tops from miles away. i could hear it coming towards me like a tidal wave. i knew it wouldn’t be long before i would need to seek refuge in my simple lean-to shelter i had erected out of a plastic tarp. but, i knew the drawing must be finished before i found myself curled up in my sleeping bag to stay warm and dry. quicker and faster the strokes came and my pen moved with speed as if i was only a bystander. raindrops began to pelt my face as the storm wind pushed them sideways. the smoke became dense fog mixed with ash and dew. hurry, hurry….finish the drawing…receive the message…. and so it was done.

the image left a reminder of why i share here, why i want to do this Z I N E, why i write, why i draw. to tell the stories, and it seems to me that the trees want me to tell their stories too…and the W I L D woods where i live because we are all so intricately intertwined. our lives, our deaths, our loves, our losses, our successes, our failures, our moments of bliss and divine, our moments of shadow and darkness, our evolution, our connections, our epiphanies and falls from grace, our new beginnings and blossoms, cleansing and de-leafing. all of it. all of us. to be reminded that we are here having an ecstatic experience, and that we are not alone in it.

Thank you for honoring mine, by being here, reading, and sharing!