Change your patterns to be your own …as nature intended! ~ Meekah Sage
You caught my eye in the midst of the giant battleground of over stimulation. I sat at the red light, overwhelmed by everybody else’s stereos, the overcompensation of advertising and signage, the endless rows of concrete buildings, stores, fast food restaurants and storage units. Through the haze of pollution, the noise and bumper to bumper traffic you pulled me out of my zone, demanded I remove my blinders.
“What the hell are you doing HERE?” were my thoughts as I spotted Turkey Vulture over my car. He was not soaring high above the city keeping a watchful eye, he was literally ten feet above my hood! As the light turned green, I marveled at his presence in that moment.
” You don’t belong here!” was what I was thinking when I spotted him. Coincidentally as I was working through my own discomfort of being in the city to drop my girls off for the week with their dad.I despise the city, and that is putting it mildly. I travel 4 hours per week to Albuquerque to get my kids for the weekend. Of course they are worth it, but for me the city is also a weekly reminder of all that I am not.
Which is why Turkey Vulture’s presence was so noteworthy. Albuquerque is a big city, BUT it is surrounded in every direction by miles and miles of land, open space, and Reservations. The ONLY place I ever see a Turkey Vulture is riding high in the sky circling the wide open plains, mesa’s, plateau’s, and canyons searching for remains to scavenge upon.
This was the first time I witnessed one in the middle of the city hovering over cars. Maybe he was looking for someone to throw scraps out their window or taking a cue from Crow to grab a quick easy meal out of the garbage. Despite the fact that it is crap food and he is totally compromising his true nature! Why in the world would he feel the need to be in the city?
Ah, Turkey Vulture’s displacement strikes a chord in my own heart. I am transported to childhood when those that I looked up to and leaned on asked me what I wanted or what I wanted to do, their answers to my response were often that I couldn’t do or have those things and I was escorted to another option to pursue that was more in line with what they were willing to support.
I wanted to ride horses, I was given soccer. I wanted to go to school for Art/Illustration & Design, I ended up at Photography school. These alternative avenues offered great life lessons and experiences, but I have grown up believing that I can’t have the abundance and life that I want for myself and so I must look for something else to fill that desire. I must compromise because it is the only way I will receive support. If I actually go for what I want, the battering ram of judgement, disapproval and self – doubt sets in. I cycle over and over in the same type of underpaid jobs struggling just to get by and giving up my time and physical capacity to pursue my true desires.
I made it back to Santa Fe. I had an hour to spare before heading into work so I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a morning snack and drink. First things first after a two-hour round trip….the restrooms! The radio was on and I couldn’t help but notice “Country Roads” by John Denver playing over the speakers. I smiled and sang along as I thought of my Dad. He loves John Denver (Willie Nelson too) but most prominently from my childhood, I remember this song as it was one of his all-time favorites – still is. It was then that I realized that my Dad probably never had the chance to live his true dreams either. He came from a long line of Air Force pilots, so naturally he went to the Air Force Academy and pursued a career as a commercial airline pilot. He had a family, young kids, to support whose mother had decided to bolt when they were 3 and 6 to go “find herself” which honestly translated into “go fuck someone else”. He did what he needed to do as a responsible parent. For 30-years he stuck it out, providing everything to make sure his kids did not want for anything. But, I’m pretty sure Photography school was his dream. Living in the mountains sitting on the porch rockin’ to John Denver is probably one of his desires as well that he has yet been able to pursue. He might even still want for them, but has created a nice luxurious alternative lifestyle for himself. He is content and finds joy in it. Out of all my blood relatives, he understands me best.
” Why do you keep believing you can’t do the work and live the life you want? Why are you compromising your true gifts for meager scraps that don’t truly support you physically and spiritually? Why when mother nature intends for ALL to have the power and resources to live freely as themselves would you choose to limit yourself or live a life from someone else’s perspective? ” ~ Turkey Vulture
It is not even FEAR anymore that limits me, it is an old untruth. A belief so deeply ingrained and imprinted from youth that I can’t have the life I want for myself. That if I truly go for what I want, I won’t find support. Despite all my efforts to think and act differently, I still battle this enemy. Maybe because it is more of a shedding than a battle. That I have to understand where this skin came from to begin with, and I need to shed it verses making it a life long struggle.
If we look to nature, we see that animals do it. The flowers, trees, plants, insects, birds..they all do it. They all do it and WITHOUT question. They simply live as they are intended as their divine true nature. It is within their code, without disbelief, and they just DO it! They soar, swim, run, leap, flop, fail, succeed, excel, evolve, express, co-create, give, receive and die as only they know how. When we start to see irregular patterns in nature, like turkey vulture showing up in the city, we can be sure it is a sign worth paying attention to. A sign that either our personal point of view is askew and has been compromised in some way, or that of the masses……….or BOTH.
Change Your Patterns to be your own as nature intended!