The energy is strange today. The sky is overcast, cold, and very still. The moon in Virgo with Mercury in Retrograde all squaring off has me in a state of wanting to be focus, determined, action oriented but without any idea of where to put that energy. Being that my rising sign is Virgo, I’ve decided to focus on just receiving, collecting my energy, and working in rhythm with lack of structure for the day.
I’ve had such a major shift over the past 3 weeks. I lost my “normal” job and find myself scrambling piecing together every way to get through this month. Yet I have been pushed in every single way by my spirit guides to stay true to myself and my visions of helping birth a new world. Every time the fear sets in and I start to feel powerless, I begin thinking, “Oh shit, I have got to find a job, no matter what it is even if its a minimum wage grocery bagging job”. By no means am I judging or saying these types of jobs aren’t valid or that I’m not grateful for having steady income, but my spirit, my authentic self, my true self is rebuking this scared-ego centric thought process at every turn!!!!!
I have been doing this cycle for far too long…stepping out, leaping, learning to fly by the power of my own wings, and then getting scared and letting all the old programming that conditioned me as a child take over and ground me in despair.
” You can’t be an artist, you’ll starve! You won’t make it out there on your own! You need to get a job, even if it’s just bagging groceries!”
That is exactly the hamster wheel cycle I have kept myself on. I get scared, I go take whatever job I can find, even as a wise 38-year-old master sage of creativity, womanhood,and motherhood worth limitless(x) more than minimum wage. I step back into the capitalist cycle, the paradigm that seeks to keep us all suppressed and controlled and grateful for not even being able to make enough at these “secure jobs” to support our livelihoods. It is ridiculous, it is sick, and it annihilates our spiritual selves, our true reason for being here, to offer our authentic uniqueness to the world for its true value!
My spirit guides are way too strong this time.I am too strong this time. My conscious awake soul is saying
“No More! You can’t go back into that, it will ultimately kill you, suck the life force right out of you…….zombie”
They are picking me up, filling me from the inside out, speaking so loudly through my thoughts that I actually am saying the affirmations and support out-loud so I can hear them with my own voice. I am De-programming all the conditioning that does not belong to me,and instead empowering my Sexy Mystical MaMa self and pursuing with full life force the way that I know to be my bliss, to be my truth, my reality!
As scary as it can be, because you know…rent is due, bills are due, I have to put gas in the car to pick my girls up for the weekend, mouths to feed…..and the only way to do this anymore is through valuing myself and working at living my dream everyday even if all the components aren’t in place yet. Ultimately I have to get up every day believing in myself and telling myself a new story!
” You are worth it! You can do this! You are equally as valuable if not more than any job from someone who can pay you! Why? Because what you create and what you offer is worth being supported! You live off the grid in respect and harmony with the land, you help homeless dogs find homes every week, you are a mother to your children first and foremost, you honor your creative spirit, and everything you are doing is to create a new world of prosperity, love, and abundance for everyone! So all those visionaries, mystics, entrepreneurs, community builders, midwives, shamans, healers, warriors, herbalists, artists, creatives, farmers, etc…don’t have to bag groceries anymore!! Would people rather support you and your art and your lifestyle and morals…..or support Wal-Mart’s totally earth demolishing, dehumanizing capitalist empire? Show people they have a choice!”
It’s time to really put Meekah out there on the front lines!
The other night I sat down to practice some painting techniques. I had no intention of actually doing a picture, but this piece channeled through me anyway! It is totally all about birthing our cosmic conscious self through the wisdom our ancestors gave us as humans…then singing it loud…putting your talents out there in the world!!! the veil is thin all winter…..what are the seeds you are bringing into the light? She sits on my altar and she is helping me pioneer my own way!
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all my light and love to you that I can share!
M E E K A H