Last night I took a shower
as the water rinsed over my skin, I said a thousand apologies out loud.
They went something like this:
~ I am sorry if my learning how to work with my emotions and communicate effectively has gotten in the way of you feeling empowered in your own life and journey
~ I am sorry that I have projected onto you things from my past that I had not fully worked with, healed or cleared out of my own psyche and emotional body
~ I am sorry If I placed expectations, judgements, obligations on you that were not yours to carry or be responsible for.
~I am sorry if my continual lesson of learning how to receive love, admiration, and support is still rough around the edges and comes across as me being cold or unappreciative…..that is not how I feel nor who I am.
~I am sorry if in any way I have made you feel inadequate, to blame, or wrong out of my own unconscious behaviors and acts….that has never been my intention, only me trying to grow and mature out of those old conditioned patterns
~ I am sorry if I have unknowingly, zombie like, created threads and binds between us that have kept us limited and in a vicious karmic cycle and pattern of being stuck………..
~ I am sorry if I pulled you into my own purgatory without your permission and held you there because I did not want to be alone
~ I worked so very hard..all day in fact, yesterday to remove all of those masks, illusions, threads, thoughts, judgements, etc….that were inside me.
~ You all have been gifts through the bliss and the challenges that have caused me to grow exponentially as an enlightened soul on this planet.
~ You have shown me what it feels like to truly LOVE and to somehow always find my way back to what truly matters, LOVE
~ All of these things are true, all of these things I know, all of these things have brought me into awareness and consciousness.
~ For all whom have had this experience with me, forgive me, for I knew not at the time and was merely struggling to just make sense of all that I process as a spiritual human being.
~ Know that it has not been for naught, that it has served a valuable and honorable purpose. That I have been able to shed skin after skin and emerge anew, re`birthed with new wisdom and knowledge to carry forward so that every experience that follows is more enlightened,more loving, more true, more evolved.
~ Know that you are a part of this Journey Walker’s path and are a stone engraved with love, admiration, appreciation, and co-creation that continues to light my way.